41 and alone? 41 and open to dating...

I decided to talk with my therapist about my issues around on-line dating, and dating in general. I explained to her my realization that it wasn't that I didn't want to find someone, it was that I felt like a failure at all of this and that I was really afraid both of being rejected and of being in relationship.
The first thing she said was how amazing it was, that I was actually admitting that I wanted to be in relationship, that I could actually express that I wanted to be with another person.
"Well it doesn't feel all that amazing," I said. "It feels really scary."
She explained how great that was too. She said that in the past, I hadn't felt any of this because I had been defending myself against these feelings, that my ego had been putting itself up there instead: I don't need others or I'm not lovable or I just haven't found the right one. But that now, I was actually feeling it. She also explained that everyone has fears around intimacy, except for those people who are defending themselves against it.
Then she congratulated me again on actually expressing my desire to be with another.
"But that's scary too," I explained. "And it kind of sucks. I went from being 41, happy with my job, all into this zen thing, and totally fine, to being 41... and alone. In saying that I want to be with another, what used to be fine... is now alone."
"Are you alone?" she asked. "Or open to dating?"
I considered this. I guessed that I actually was open to dating. It wasn't so much that I was suddenly alone, it was just that I was open to the possibility of being with another- which for me, is still really scary. But I guess all it is is being open to it, not necessarily searching for it or making it this big thing, just acknowledging it, that it's something that I do want and that I might have to tolerate some fear and rejection in order to experience it.