I don’t actually know why this happens, but here’s my theory: it’s like buying a car. When you first start shopping for a car, you check out all makes and models. After a while you narrow it down to, maybe, two or three cars that you’re thinking about and then, finally, you decide on one. The second you actually buy that car, two things happen:
1. Suddenly, you see all the cars that you didn’t buy and totally regret buying the one you did.
2. You see the car that you bought everywhere and/ or you see new cars everywhere: suddenly everyone seems to have bought your same car!
Now, obviously, there isn’t an upsurge in the presence of your car or any other car on the road after you buy your car. So why does it seem like they’re everywhere? Because you’re suddenly paying attention to cars, noticing them, becoming aware of different makes and models. So, when you first start meditating why does it feel like you have more thoughts instead of less? Because you’re starting to notice your thoughts. This is a good thing (I know I know, there’s no good or bad, no “goal”, no progress, sorry about that). Your thoughts have always been there, you just thought they were reality, you thought they were you, they were such a part of your everyday existence that you didn’t see them. But now you’re trying to pay attention to them, you’re actually seeing them and they feel like they’re everywhere! They are, always have been, it’s just that you didn’t see them before. So, I guess, don’t feel so frustrated by yourself for “not making progress” even though you’re trying really hard to meditate. The fact that you’re suddenly having a million thoughts probably means that you’re actually awakening to your thoughts and that’s kind of what this is all about.
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