August 31st

On the Thursday before my mom's memorial ceremony, I was thinking during zazen about what I should do on the actual anniversary of my mom's death. I knew the day was coming and I wasn't sure how to spend it. At first, I considered having another memorial ceremony, with my friends from YUZ, just to kind of remember her and share her with them. But that felt kind of weird because I still don't really know her. So then I thought about having a night to myself, maybe making chocolate mousse and talking with my mom's photograph or something. But that felt kind of lonely and sad and not so healthy.
And then I thought, "I'll have dinner with my dad." Just dinner with my dad; not anniversary-of-your-wife-and-my-mother's-death dinner, just dinner with my dad. And that felt really fine, and natural, and not trying.
So that's what I'm doing on Friday. I'm taking the ferry to Tiburon, he's meeting me at the dock, we're taking full advantage of the Happy Hour Menu (yep- that's where I get the coupon propensity) and then I'm ferrying back home.
I have no idea if this date is significant for him. To be honest, it's possible that August 31st isn't the anniversary of my mom's death because our family dog's birthday is either August 30th or 31st and I never know which one is which. We never really talked about it. But it's what I'm doing anyway. If he brings it up, he brings it up and we talk about it, I guess. I'm not planning on bringing it up, I'm just planning on having dinner with my dad.