This doesn't make sense

I know. It's not really supposed to. Which, I know, doesn't make things any better. But the thing is, when you really think about it, it does make sense, just not mental sense.
The best way that I can understand this is the truth that we are physical beings. You're with me on that one, right? Like, we are made up of cells and we are just as much made up of elements as the sun and the moon and the earth, etc.
So we are physical beings, we just are. And because we are physical beings, we are governed by the physical laws of the universe: we're born, we live, we die. We breathe, we need food and water, our cells regenerate and die, etc. These are the things that control us, these are the things that decide how things go.
But for some reason, we forget that, or maybe we deny that, I don't really know what we do with that, but I know I don't really think that that's how things work. I think that things should make sense. I think there should be a cause and effect to things. I think that I should be able to control things. I think that if I act one way, good things will happen to me; and if I act another way, bad things will happen to me. I want to believe that I am in control of my universe, instead of it being in control of me.
I also seem to think that there should be an order to things- that there is a sequence or an organization, or even just a basic logic to how things happen. I really do want things to make sense. Also, I'm totally confused when things don't make sense, and often try to change things or deny them so that they do make sense.

Here's my example from this week.
I went to the bathroom. Then I went to my room. About 10 minutes later, I had to go to the bathroom again. This did not make sense. I had just gone to the bathroom. It didn't make sense for me to need to go again. I hadn't drunk anything and when I had gone to the bathroom, I had actually gone so, logically, I should have been empty. But my body was saying it needed to go.
At first, I ignored it. I told myself that I actually didn't need to go. It had only been ten minutes! I really shouldn't have had to go. But then, I remembered about how I was trying to listen to my body, how it had helped me to feel better about eating. So I said "Fine! I'm going to the bathroom because apparently, you need to go." And when I went to the bathroom, I actually did need to go! It didn't make sense, but it was true.

And then I thought about the first teaching I ever got in dokusan. The teacher asked me what was coming up for me in zazen. I told him that I was afraid that if I sat zazen in the morning, I wouldn't be prepared for school that day. He responded by saying "You're afraid? Of sitting zazen? Because you think you won't? Be prepared for school in the morning?"
When he said it like that, I felt like an idiot. It made no sense at all. Sitting zazen had nothing to do with being prepared for the day. So I said that to him, I said "Well when you say it like that, it makes no sense at all, it just seems silly."
He answered: "It isn't about logic, it's about how you feel."

I listened to his teaching, took it literally, and focused my practice on learning how to feel. But part of me also thought it was a little weird. Here was this man, all experienced and wise and stuff and he was talking about feelings? In my mind, we don't talk about feelings, let alone suggest that they are more true than logic.
But now I think that he wasn't necessarily talking about emotions. I think he was actually talking about how we feel, like, physically. I think he was saying that this practice is about getting in tune with the physical aspects of our selves, learning to listen to the physical cues that our body gives us, understanding that in order to kind of make harmony with this physical universe in which we are existing and by which we are controlled, we need to attend to the physical aspect of ourselves, to give in to its laws, instead of trying to force our mental laws on it.

And I think that's what happened with the whole going to the bathroom thing. Physically, I had to go to the bathroom. Logically, I didn't. Physically, it made sense, because the body doesn't have to make sense, it just does what it does. Logically, it was out of time, it was out of volume, it wasn't in synch with my mental understanding of when and why we need to go to the bathroom. But time, and logic, are human creations, they are mental constructs, they're kind of delusional to the sun, the moon, and the liquid in my bladder.
So really, needing to go to the bathroom actually made sense- it just made physical sense, not logial sense. I don't know why I needed to go, but I needed to go, so it made sense to go.

Sorry, I don't think that made things any better. Bu I do think that the more we are in tune wiith our bodies and the more we accept, instead of fight, the physical laws of the universe, the more we will be in harmony with our existence.