And now I am in Japan

This is an older post- written about two weeks after I arrived in Japan. I'm including it because I think that this experience- of being completely lost and having absolutely no reference, no familiarity, no labels or associations to cling to or be part of- helped me to just see myself for exactly what I was doing, not within a continuum of identity, labels, or success/ failure as a person.

I arrived in Nara, this morning, after a 45 minute train ride which I took backwards because, well, everyone else was facing that way so I figured they knew what they were doing… I had planned to arrive in Nara early so that I could spend the day sightseeing (there is a famous huge Buddha statue here and some beautiful temples) because I knew that I needed to leave Nara early the next day in order to get to Koyasan (my next destination). But then, it started raining, and raining, and raining and still, it is raining. So I am in Nara early, with nothing to do but watch the rain (because it is monsoon season so rain is, well, rainy).
When I got here, I knew that it would be a little tricky to find the Ryokan because they are usually in residential areas. (Ryokans are, basically, Japanese homes turned into places to stay.  The closest equivalent in the US would be a bed and breakfast but they’re not so Vermonty- quaint). However, I also knew that I was supposed to take the number 1 bus and I knew the name of the stop I was getting off at. So, I walked over to the number 1 bus stop, saw a sign that showed a circular route around Nara that actually had my bus stop on it, and waited.
The first bus that showed up was a number 57 and a bunch of people got on it, including two English speakers. I figured this was the one and confirmed with the driver by showing him my piece of paper with the name of the bus stop written on it. He seemed confused at first, then pointed across the road. At the same time, the English speakers seemed to be confirming that, in fact, this was the right bus because it stopped at Nara Park. I wasn’t actually going to Nara Park but I figured it was part of the loop so I stayed on the bus.
From the map the ryokan had sent me, I knew that the stop was about three stops away from the train station. After the third stop, it became pretty clear to me that we were not going to stop at my stop and I was not on the right bus. But I figured it was a loop so if I stayed on long enough, it would bring me back to the train station and I could try again.
I was wrong. It kept going until it got to a tourist attraction and then it ended. We all had to get off. Fortunately, there was a family there from Hong Kong who also needed to get to the station and together we figured out that bus number 70 would get us there- we just had to wait.
Low and behold, the 70 showed up and we got on it. About three intersections later, I saw in front of us, at the other train station stop, bus number 1. I considered asking my bus driver if I could get off and get on the number 1 in front of us but with my absence of any Japanese, I realized it would be impossible to explain that so I just stayed on.
“At least I know that there is a number 1 bus,” I thought to myself.
We finally stopped on a random corner and the driver announced that it was the train station. I was incredulous but got off anyway and then, once I turned around, saw that in fact we were just across the street from the train station. So, I made my way back to the train station, determined to just stand there, and wait until bus 1 pulled up, and then get on it. I saw bus 2, and that was encouraging so then I started looking at the bus signs, to see if they said where to stand for each bus. Each spot actually had a list of buses that stopped at it but none of them said 1. I finally found a chart that showed all the stops and all the bus numbers and discovered that bus 1 stopped at number 11. I searched the station for #11 and found everything up to 9 and 10…
Finally, I approached a man in a hat and uniform and said I was looking for bus 11, then I said, NO, bus 1, and put up my finger, 1. He smiled and pointed across the street. There, on the corner, were the final two bus stands: 11 and 12. I happily walked across the street (like I should have from the beginning when the first bus driver directed me over there) and waited with the other passengers. Once the bus arrived, I showed the driver my little note pad and he confirmed that he was going there. I watched as the monitor showed, in English, what the next stop was. Mine finally showed up, I pushed the button, and the bus driver stopped for me.
The bus stop was simply a post, on the side of the road, with the name of the bus stop written on it. It wasn’t a major intersection, there weren’t any shops, there was no apparent reason to stop there other than the fact that it was a stop on this bus line.
The directions had said, “Get off the bus, turn left at the lights, and walk about 150 meters to the ryokan.” So I did just that: I walked to the light and turned left. In front of me was a narrow street, lined with buildings all marked with signs in Japanese.

I couldn’t tell one building from another- which was someone’s home, which was a restaurant, which was an office… I was lured by the white and green sign that was lit up but then I realized it had a P on it so I decided it was actually just a parking lot. As I got closer I realized that, in fact, it was. Then I hoped it was a parking lot for the ryokan, but it wasn’t. There wasn’t any apparent ryokan in sight. Also, it was still raining, like, pouring raining, and I was soaked from when we had to get off the bus and wait for the other one and in walking and, just, in general.  But there was nothing I could do: I was on a tiny residential street at the complete mercy of signs that I could not read.

“Now, I am in Japan,” I thought. “Everyone around me speaks Japanese, everything around me is written in Japanese, all of the buildings are Japanese.”
So I kept walking, with no choice other than to wait until the ryokan appeared; though I honestly wasn’t sure I would recognize it when it showed itself. Unless there was something English about it, I could easily walk past it and have no idea that I was doing that. I considered the meters to feet conversion and wondered when I would know that I had gone too far. I just kept walking until, finally, I saw a white sign similar to the sign that had been outside the ryokan I had stayed at in Masumoto. It had Japanese characters on it but below it, it also had the kanji: Sei Kan So.

 
I breathed a sigh of relief and looked around the sign to try to figure out which building was the ryokan. The really nice one with the pretty pagoda had a chain across the driveway with a nice car in it so I figured that wasn’t it. Then I saw another one with a sign that said Sei Kan So information and I knew that was it.
I walked up, put my bag down, and was greeted by the owners: “Check in time is three, we can take luggage.” (it was 12:30).
“Okay,” I said. “Is there a place I can sit? It is very wet.”
They seemed a little disappointed by this but then got busy doing things: getting a plastic bag to put under my luggage so that I could set it down, pulling out their hanging rack so that I could hang my jacket on it. They invited me to hang my jacket, put my luggage down, and told me that the room was not ready, then gestured toward the lobby.
I thanked them and thought I was supposed to check in and so approached the office area but they gestured toward the lobby again. So I said, “Okay, check in at 3,” and they smiled and went back in to their office.
I sat down on the couch in the lobby to a view of a beautiful Japanese garden and continuous rain. So, I went back to my bag, grabbed my laptop and now I am wet and typing and, well, probably won’t end up seeing that big ol’ Buddha statue after all. Oh well, at least I am finally in Japan.