This stuff is weird

This morning, I was doing Nenju; which meant that I was walking around in a circle, bent at a ninety degree ankle, in my socks, on tatami mats, in front of a statue of Budhha- ha!
About two thirds of my way around the circle, I pictured one of my friends walking up the steps of the zen center, peering in the door of the Budhha hall, and seeing me do this. I also pictured myself, as I was doing this, and I thought to myself: "This is weird."
And I kept walking around the circle, and could feel the stiffness in my back as I maintained a "bowed" position and I thought to myself: "You're right. This is weird. This is completely foreign to you. This is not something you grew up doing. This is not something you have done for most of your life. This is not something you see others doing. It is, honestly, weird to you, as in: foreign, as in: different, as in: unfamiliar. "
And that's when I realized that "weird" was just a description. "Weird" was just a term for foreign or unfamiliar or different and that I was being accurate when I called it weird. And this accuracy was the truth of the matter- this practice actually is weird to me, but "weird" isn't bad or good.
See, in  the past when I noticed how "weird" this practice was to me, I had judgment attached to weird. I had fears of rejection, of association with something foreign, of evaluation of less than because it was different from the mainstream. And so "weird" was scary for me, off putting for me, unsettling for me. Every time I would look at myself doing the "weird" parts of this practice, I would freak out and start to think there was something wrong or scary about what I was doing. Fortunately, it wasn't enough to make me stop but it definitely sent me in a tailspin many a time and lead me to hide certain parts of my practice or omit them when I talked about what I do at the zen center.
But this morning, I just saw it for what it was: foreign, unfamiliar, different. That's all.
And for some reason, that helped. It made me see it for what it was: me, bowing, as I walked around in a circle. Me, bowing, as I came to a statue of Buddha. Me, bowing to the feet and socks of others, in gratitude, for their existence.
This is not familiar, this is not "normal," but this is what I'm doing.