z: Zen dieting?

 Okay, this has worked two out of the three times it has happened, so I thought I’d share.

When I came home from Young Urban Zen at 9:30 at night I thought,“ I’m feeling hungry, I’d like some cheese and crackers.”  But then I thought, “That doesn’t make sense, I’m never hungry at 9:30 at night.” I considered what I had eaten that day: a big dinner and soybeans and yogurt for snack. I checked my water bottle; it was empty so I knew that it wasn’t thirst that was making me feel hungry. Then I actually felt my belly and it was, literally, full.  So then I thought, “Oh, maybe this is just a thought. Maybe I can let it pass like I do with my thoughts in the zendo.” So I went about my business of getting ready for bed to see if the thought would pass away. It did, and I went to sleep not feeling hungry at all.

Later in the week, the same thing happened. I walked in the door feeling hungry, even though I had eaten a full dinner and was totally hydrated. I did the same thing- let the thought pass- and found that I wasn’t hungry that time either.

Then this weekend when we were in the grocery store buying food for a barbeque, I saw a display of chocolate bars and decided that I needed a “treat”. I had just eaten a slice of pizza, a big snack of chips and salsa, and two home-made chocolate-chip scones.  I told myself, “You do not need a ‘treat.’ You just had chocolate chip scones and you are totally full. This “hunger” is just a thought.”

I agreed with myself, this was just a thought. But, I decided to cling to it anyway, bought the chocolate, and ate it. Thus began an afternoon/ evening of eating what I wanted to regardless of my hunger. It was fun.  I ate lots and lots of delicious cheese, pie, ice cream, warm chocolate chip cookies, hummus, and some quinoa, sausage, and a really good salad.  I went to sleep way more full than I wanted to, almost Thanksgiving full, and had absolutely no appetite the next morning. I’m still feeling it today so I just might actually listen to myself the next time that I say that my wanting a ‘treat’ is just a thought. Either way, it’s kind of good to know that I have that option, that even my “hunger” can sometimes be a thought and I that I have the choice to see it for what it is or believe its delusion.