You would think that if someone steals your back tire, you could just go buy a new back tire. That’s not how it works, especially if your bike is 20 years old. Here’s how it works instead:
If you buy a new tire, you need a new chain (because your old one is so stretched out it won’t actually grab on to the teeth of the sprocket on the new tire).
If you buy a new chain, you need a new front chain ring (because the old one is shaped to your old chain which is too old to hold on to the new chain ring).
If you buy a new tire and a new chain and a new front chain ring, you need four HUNDRED and fifty dollars…
I tried to avoid my suffering:
I asked the guy, “So, if I just bought the new back tire, the bike would still work, it just wouldn’t work well, right?”
“No, it wouldn’t actually grab the teeth. It would just spin.”
“Okay, but if I bought a new tire and a new chain, it might be loose on the front chain ring but it would still work. I’m not, like, putting a ton of stress on the bike, just riding to the zen center in the morning.”
“No,” he said. “The front part is shaped to your old chain so it wouldn’t hold the new chain either.”
“Oh,” I said. “So, it’s $450 or nothing.”
“Well, you know, a new hybrid would probably cost you about $450. But I can see that you’re attached to your bike so we could still do the work, but it will cost the same as a new bike.”
“It’s not so much the bike that I’m attached to,” I thought. “It’s the 450 dollars.”
I was sad. I was ready to cry because not only did I not have $450, I didn’t have a bike either.
“Well,” I said, “I’m going to have to walk my bike home and see if I can find a used bike on Craig’s list. I was only expecting to spend $150. Thank you for your help.”
I left the store and a block later saw the bike store that I had originally planned to go to (when I walked past it that morning, I thought it was pandering to tourists so I decided to go the farther bike store instead). “Maybe they sell used bikes,” I thought.
I walked in and told the guy that my back wheel was stolen. He walked to the back and started looking at wheels. “70, 65, 59… I think that’s the best you’re going to get,” his friend said to him as they pulled out the wheels.
“I’m not sure how much you were expecting to pay or whether you were hoping to have it fixed today. We do carry a cheaper wheel in your size but it’s out of stock right now,” he explained to me.
This was my kind of guy!
“Well, I was hoping to pay 150 max but if it’s more than that, I understand. I just want my bike fixed.”
“Oh no, not at all. It’ll be 120 max!”
As he started grabbing all the parts I thought to myself, “Should I tell him about my chain? He hasn’t even measured the stretch the way the other guy did.”
I thought about the price and what the other guy said. But then I thought about all the work this guy would put into my bike only to discover that it was going to slip anyway and that seemed unfair.
“Um, my chain is super stretched out. Do you think that will be a problem?”
“No, I don’t think so. But if you were going to buy a new chain, now would be the time to do it, so that it shapes with the new wheel.”
“But then I’d have to get a new front chain ring to match the new chain, right?”
“No, yours isn’t that stretched out. I think it’ll be fine.”
He took my number. I went to Cole Hardware to buy pretty icicle lights. I went to Goodwill to find fleece pants to wear to the zendo in the morning. As I was walking to Whole Foods to buy oranges, bananas, and edamame he called me.
“Just wanted to let you know that your bike is ready.”
I walked in, they brought me my bike, they charged me $148, I rode home. They are Avenue Cyclery. I am back on my bike. I am going to ALWAYS lock my BACK tire with the REAL lock and use the cable for my front tire. Back tires are so much more complicated than front ones.
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