z1: Smiling, quiet, and pretzel legged (Intro to Buddhism and Zazen)

So, the next few posts will be about my own experiences with “zen” practice. I've organized them in mostly chronological order but anytime you see a title with z in it, you'll know it's going to be about zen.

Why is a blog about teaching talking about zen practice? Because it's a blog about being a compassionate teacher. Compassion is probably not the first word that comes to people's minds when they think of “zen,” but the more you know about zen, the more you realize it's actually the core or heart of practice. Plus, my desire to be a compassionate teacher came from the experiences I had with compassion while practicing at the zen center (see my first post: thinking).

I like the zen center. It makes me happy. It took me a while to really understand the whole zen thing (and I'm still learning). I had a bunch of misgivings and reluctance and refusals and fear at first. But with the support of friends and the residents and lay practitioners of the zen center, I stuck it out and now I'm basically giggling my way through my days (though that may be connected to the fact that it's summer).

I wanted to write about how I got to a place where I actually enjoy the zen center for two reasons:

1) I think that a lot of people have the same fears and reluctance that I had and I'm hoping that by reading about my experience, they'll say “Oh, that's all it is?” and they'll stick around long enough to see the happy part of the zen center (not that there's a sad part of the zen center, but all those black robes and silence and chanting often make for a somber mood).

2 ) As I was learning to meditate at the zen center, I would often hear others sharing their struggles and breakthroughs and realize how similar they were to my experience. Once I knew that others were experiencing the same thing, I felt like I was actually on a path toward learning to meditate and so I was willing to keep at it. I have to agree with what I've been told that there isn't “one way” to meditate. I'm changing my way all the time and different things work for different people but for me, it was really helpful to hear what others were struggling with. So, I'm hoping that by sharing my experience, other people will see that it's doable: you too can stare at a wall all pretzel legged and quiet. And if you stick with it long enough and are open to all the stuff that goes with it, you'll probably find yourself laughing at yourself and smiling at others.