Warning: Do NOT attempt this at home

So, I've been figuring some stuff out about myself this week. And in doing that, I'm starting to see what I could do if I want things to get better in this area. While I was thinking about this I thought, "Oh, I could start right now, at home, with my family."
And then I thought, "Are you kidding me? That's the worst idea ever! Why would you try this in the place where you have the most history, where you're most afraid of falling back into the same patterns that you developed in the first place!"
And of course, I started telling myself this: "You know that if you do this with this family member, they're going to do that. And if you say this to this family member, they're going to say that," and on and on. I just knew exactly what was going to happen, I was sure of it.
And then I thought, "Hold on a minute. What about 'beginner's mind'? What about 'not knowing'? What about going in to a situation without expectations?"
And so I pictured myself, trying something with a family member without being sure what they would do, just trying with them. And I thought that maybe, just maybe, they might do something different. Maybe the behaviors that I'm so sure of, are actually really old behaviors and they're only sticking around because I'm holding on to them. Maybe, if I would just let the person actually do what they do without fitting it into what I've already decided they would do, that habit of our interactions might just go away.
And then I thought about having no expectations of my family. Of not going in with wants or needs or deciding what they're going to say before they speak and I thought " If I'm not expecting anything from them, I think we'd all feel a whole lot more at ease."
Now, I have to tell you, that I did NOT do this at home. I did NOT practice this with my family. I was present for my family this weekend and that helped. But this particular thing that I'm noticing about myself is still too vulnerable and I'm still too afraid of it going back into hiding if I fail at working it out that I'm not willing to try it with my family yet. I just might try it with people who don't know me first.
But who knows, maybe one of you is brave enough to try it with your family. And maybe I'll be brave enough to at least go into my next interaction with my family without expectations, without 'knowing' what they're going to do.